Monthly Archives: July 2009

Practicing my face

Posted on by sparktofire
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Tonight, I find out if I won the business plan competition.

Oscars style, which I think is kinda horrible. Because it means that I have to practice my face. My if I win face, that won’t be too too excited so I don’t make the other three women feel too bad, and my if I don’t win face so I’m not captured in photos with some quiver lipped look of defeat like I’m in a boxing match with the voices in my head.

The thing is,  I feel really, really proud of myself for making it this far. Enough so to declare it publically on the internet!

A year ago, I was steeped in stories about how horrible I was at managing money, how I’d never be able to run a business. I was doing the exercise in The Energy of Money and having very challenging revelations about my relationship to money and class.

So the fact that I even made it this far and some business minded people thought my plan was sound enough to make it through two rounds of eliminations is actually quite incredible to me.

I’m celebrating that as already being enough.

(Not that $10,000 wouldn’t be nice. Or however much it ends up being–they also don’t tell you how much it is!)

I’m also celebrating feeling incredible love and support from friends–which, as I’ve shared in earlier post, is not a feeling that comes easily to me. I’ve gotten heartwarming emails, tweets, and texts that quite honestly already make me feel all giddy and loved and confident without winning. At the risk of sounding totally corny: I think feeling this love and support right now is what I’ve really won.

In a few hours I meet up with my good friend/creative inspiration/copy editor extraordinaire to put together an outfit that on her advice should ” should say ‘artsy film genius with snazzy biz acumen’. “

In the meantime I’m bouncing in my chair in the office trying to focus.  I tried to get rid of the bouncies this morning at a fly 8am new wave dance party that happened in my bedroom. But they’re still here. . .

Stayed tuned!

Fat Camp, Popsicles and Clean Toilets.

Posted on by sparktofire
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To celebrate my last day working full time at my job of 2.5 years (almost 5 years actually if you count the 2.5 years I worked there the last time around before I left for 2 years and then came back again) I went to Colorado to visit my father for 5 days.

Or that’s what I thought I was doing–celebrating.

Instead, it kind of felt like I was sent to “fat camp”–you know, when you’re told you’re going to summer camp but you show up and realize that you’re at a camp for fat kids and now you have to exercise nonstop and eat rice cakes all week.

Our family has both diabetes and heart problems. My dad is determined to beat them naturally–which I actually really commend him for. I just wasn’t prepared for what that would mean for my visit.

I was stuck in some pretty intense emotional eating my last few months at work. I usually felt like I couldn’t possibly make it through the 3pm slump without eating a brownie or cookie. So I’d been eating minimum one baked good a day on a regular basis when I arrived at his door. He, however, has decided to not eat any salt or sugar.

So it was me, some fruit, and about 10 miles a day of hiking. It was like a lighter form of detoxing. It was totally amazing to realize that when I’m not trapped in an office I can go past 3pm without sugar and still be quite functional. I did have to take some naps in between, so maybe that was the trade off. But the idea of not being so dependent on sugar was pretty liberating and something I celebrated going through, eventually.

Not that I haven’t had my fair share of sugary treats since I’ve been back this past week including Korean popsicles, Capagiros,  and the most insanely delicious ice cream from Franklin Fountain. (If you haven’t been to either of these places you must go.)

But in my new work from home life I’m redefining my relationship to sugar and my habits and find that kind of hopeful.

And, I’m finding in my new life that I have time to clean the bathroom. Not just a wipe down, but old toothbrush around the base of the water fixtures kinda cleaning. In 15 minute intervals between other work or watching a movie. It’s so incredibly satisfying.

I’m also riding my bike a lot these days to different errands in neighborhood as well as other nurturing places like the meditation studio to join in a group sit and the woods to go for a walk among trees (trees!).

I turns out that I do actually prefer health to wealth.